Thirteen euphemisms for genitalia

[BeardofPants]

Actually used in manuscripts.

Thirteen Eewy, Icky Euphemisms

Hers (you know, her pussy, cunt, vagina, clit)

1. aching oozing entrance
2. clutching coming cavern
3. cum hole
4. inflamed seeping tunnel
5. pleading pouting gate of her vagina
6. pulse-pounding swamp of love and cum
7. ultrasensitive cum-covered bud
8. southernmost slippery lips
9. soaking, smothering cave
10. drenched hair-topped cavern
11. bloated pulsing bud
12. constricted, battered hole
13. contracting crease

His (cock, penis)

1. buffeting brick-of-a-bat
2. engorged cylindrical monster
3. near-spurting spear
4. object of her oral affection
5. spherical head with its narrow semen-spitting slit
6. thick, long rope of granite
7. torturous tube
8. one-eyed purple-headed yogurt slinger
9. white marble battering ram
10. ready-to-pop pole
11. pointy protrusion
12. bulbous buffeting baton
13. albino boa constrictor

From here

 

[Professur]

I don't see trouser snake or pork sword anywhere.

 

[BeardofPants]

Well, it's gotta have a certain... style... like 'quivering love pudding' before it'll be considered prime material for wimminz 'stories'.

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

3. cum hole

How romantic. I'm atwitter with desire.

 

[chcr]

I've always rather preferred "golden rod" and "quim."

Favorite masturbation euphemism: flogging the dolphin

for sex: throwing the bone.

You ever notice that there are a lot of bone throwing songs?

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Always been partial to the phrase "tube snake smothered in underwear" myself.

 

[Gato_Solo]

And why's the boa constrictor have to be albino?

 

[OldHippie]

What no one "greases the Lizard" ?

 

[2minkey]

clam pipe

 

[paul_valaru]

free range protein hose

 

[chcr]

free range protein hose

No underwear then?

 

[Inkara1]

No underwear then?

[Tom Petty]I'm free.... I'm freeballin'...[/Tom Petty]

 

[Gato_Solo]

heat-seeking-moisture-missile

 

[BeardofPants]

[Tom Petty]I'm free.... I'm freeballin'...[/Tom Petty]

I hate you. Now I'll never be able to hear that song again without thinking of your balls.

 

[Gato_Solo]

I hate you. Now I'll never be able to hear that song again without thinking of your balls.

You're the one who keeps stealing his pants...

 

[Inkara1]

Is it going to drive you nuts?