What do you tell a girl when...

[Acid]

she asks you what your opinion is, and then acts like she didn't hear it.

A very close friend of mine (the only girl that I would dumb anyone for) is getting played, hard.

We were at a party two weeks ago, and there's this guy there (John for now). John is talking to every girl there, no matter what the girl looks like or acts like. He's just playing the field, completely.

She falls for the shit. I tell her at the end of the night what the deal is, and she ignores me. She finds out that he was making out with a girl that same night, and she tells me on the weekend (next time we talked) that I was right. What's up now.

So things should be a'ok. Not the case. "I'm still going to hang out with him, just not date him." Well that went from "I would kiss him if he didn't rub (snuff)," and things like that nature. All the while, she knows my standpoint and 'appreciates' it.

Today is my birthday. I'm supposed to go to her dorm and hang out with her after I get off work. I call her.

-Hey what's up?
"Fuck"
-Are you at your dorm?
"No, I'm at John's"
"I'll just talk to you tomorrow, bye"

What the hell am I supposed to say to her? Am I supposed to act like I don't know what's going on and just forget it? I mean, we're supposed to be friends and no lies and such. She's been used before, and it's going to happen again with him. I just don't want to see it happen again (she asked me the first time, too).

I honestly feel like puking. It makes me feel like I'm nothing that someone I know all my life asks me a serious question, then completely disregards it and expects me to be ok with it when she comes crying to me.

/vent

 

[Dave]

run Acid, run.

there is nothing you can do/say that will get through to her.

 

[Justintime]

also don't think spot meant girls only, happens to guys too, happened to me lotsa times

 

[Leslie]

yep...Spot is absolutely right. It's just up to you whether you want to stay around and pick up the pieces or not.

Justin is right too

 

[Shadowfax]

you did what you could, you gave your opinion. whether she takes your advice or not is up to her...

if she doesn't, then make clear to her that there's no point in coming back crying to you the next time. don't let HER use YOU man.

 

[Oz]

send her a gift wrapped apointment card for the STD clinic?

Nah, let her get on with it..........you can be a friend without feeling the need to play her father/mother Next time she comes crying give her a sympathetic pat on the head and tell her "I told you so" then she'll realise you did and that's all yer can do.

 

[tonksy]

hmm...i have been in this girls shoes...why? because i wanted to get laid and i wanted to get laid by that particular person. you did what you could and she'll prolly come crying to you later and you just do the old "i told you so" because she deserves it, well, we all deserve it from time to time. lust is a bitch.

 

[CydCharisse]

she's going to have to learn the hard way on her own....continue to be a supportive friend, but mthere is nothing you can do or say to get her out of that situation

 

[PostCode]

If what she is to you is a friend then tell her flat out that your shoulder isn't going to be available to cry on because she didn't listen. Sometimes it takes a few good burns for some people to get the message. You told her the deal and she's ignoring it. Now, it's her problem.

 

[AlphaTroll]

Just tell her exactly what you posted, no need to mince words - she's a big girl, so she should be able to handle the truth

 

[freako104]

acid first off happy b-day. make it a good one. and remember its not a day to be miserable like this. I truly hate to say it this way but you wont be able to change her ways. she needs to do that. shell need to learn teh hard way. i would say support her and let her come to you. dont call her dont visit her(i know that sounds cold) and let her do her thing. hopefully shell see whats going on. but it seems like her low self esteem is going to get her. try to let her know why you like her(tell her about her positive side,and why you two are friends) and let her know you care and dont want her hurt. good luck.

 

[Acid]

How nice. We're talking on ICQ (since she went home for the weekend) and I get "Kyle, you're going to be mad at me," acting as if I want to know. She knows that I know..how fucking stupid are people?

I tell her that some things are better off left unsaid, and I get "K haha"s and shit like that. I swear. I'm ready to fucking kill someone.

 

[tonksy]

How nice. We're talking on ICQ (since she went home for the weekend) and I get "Kyle, you're going to be mad at me," acting as if I want to know. She knows that I know..how fucking stupid are people?

I tell her that some things are better off left unsaid, and I get "K haha"s and shit like that. I swear. I'm ready to fucking kill someone.

dude, does she know that you like her? cuz if so then she's just being a teasy bitch. i'm sorry, but like you need to hear the details like that. i mean, i flirt and talk about sex alot, but i'm not cruel. it's like she's rubbing your nose in it.

 

[Acid]

She should know, since I've told her and I make it obvious.

 

[tonksy]

i think she lacks respect, unless you speak to her the same way? are you telling her all your business? are you making overtures? hmmm? if yes, then she isn't really doing anything wrong, is she? she may feel like it's flirting? i end up in some odd conversations sometimes and i would hate to think i was upsetting someone. mayhap you should think about that. i really am trying to be helpful, thinking on all sides of the matter.

 

[Acid]

No, I wouldn't tell her my business if I had any.

One interesting thing is she does seem to point out girls that I "better not" date, or the ones I'm talking to at the time. Happened all last year with this one girl. I don't know if she feels threatened (about what? me spending less time with her? not being available?), I have no real damn clue.

 

[Mare]

Listen Hun, There's this old saying: "There's plenty of fish in the sea"
Hang in there you'll find the right one.

PS..

 

[Acid]

Where did I say that I was holding out for her?

Thanks

 

[Dave]

you didn't. unless you read between the lines.

i could have written that post 20 years ago.
been there. done that.

 

[electric_mind]

This is classic. It sounds to me like the old Jerk vs. Nice Guy Dilemma. A lot of girls fall for the jerk who treats them like scum, its almost a biological instinct to some of them... it shows that the guy is dominant, the alpha male so to speak. Even in this case where you don't want a romantic relationship with this girl, try to learn from this, especially about how some females think and feel, as this can get into your nerves if you think about it too much.