UPDATE:
We went to the bank yesterday. The loan dude dropped a bombshell on us, and he could tell I wasn't pleased. We walked.
Very frustrating day all in all. We're more or less back to square one on the house search. I adamantly refuse to commit financial suicide, or to allow our emotions and anxiety to get back to a normal life to spur us into what these sharks wanted us to do.
So. Later today, we make a few phone calls, maybe look at a thing or three, and start over. This time we are in control. Not the bank. Not the selling agent. Us. We don't like what they say, we walk away and find someone else.
These idiots wanted me to stake our entire parcel of land (would appraise at over 40K easy) on an 80K doublewide. His big selling point was, "You'd have no money out of pocket." For 50% down, you're fucking-A right I won't. Then he tells me it has to be an adjustable rate. Starts telling me what a wonderful idea an ARM is. Tells me he has one himself. I let him talk for a few minutes, and he gets back to the sales script, about how in five years or so we can refinance it, blah blah blah.
I guess it never dawned on him that if this damn ARM is such a fantastic thing, why would I pay $5000 to get out of it in 5 years? Moron.
A pox on bankers. And clowns. Fuck clowns too.
*SnP stomps away to go tear something up.*