Stop Wanking Now...

[Ardsgaine]

with help from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints !

Are you tired of spending hours in the shower? Do you find that you're spending far too much money on soap? Do you suffer from Repetitive Strain Injury due to your nighttime hobby? If so, there's help...

 

[Janimal]

They really should not allow this kind of filth on the internet.

 

[Professur]

I wish I had that kind of free time.

 

[nalani]

hmm.. though I did find that funny and though, as someone who was born and raised LDS and we are/have been given things like this, I have to wonder at its authenticity ... there are a few items that are "out of place" ...

First, they are called "The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles" - not a council ...

Second, Mark Petersen is not a part of the Quorum, and I don't recall him being a part of the Quorum or of the First Presidency .. I could be wrong, I probably am ... but I don't recall his name at all ..

and Third, LDS leaders very very very rarely recommend a book that was written outside of the LDS church. I don't know if Dale Carnegie is a member, but usually when a book is recommended or introduced, it is done so as "blahblahblahBOOK by soandsoMEMBER"

ok .. someone bitchslap me quickly because I have way too much LDS knowledge ...

 

[[b]]

Better than too much LSD knowledge...then again, maybe not.

 

[nalani]

I don't know which kind of knowledge is the lesser of two evils

 

[sbcanada]

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror.

Damn, there goes my favorite hobby.

 

[[b]]

yeah, i'm guilty of that one as well.

 

[Luis G]

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

yeah, i assume *ahem*fucking*ahem* is way better than masturbating

 

[Luis G]

**too lazy to finish reading all that stuff**

 

[sbcanada]

Originally posted by Luis G

yeah, i assume *ahem*fucking*ahem* is way better than masturbating

Well, they are Mormons. What do you expect?

 

[Ardsgaine]

Originally posted by nalani
I have to wonder at its authenticity ... there are a few items that are "out of place" ...

You might be right. I heard about the site on this talk show I just happened to catch last night hosted by a guy named Graham Norton. Carrie Fisher was on it, and they were looking at different web sites. There was another one that had some interesting pictures of vegetables, but I didn't catch the name of the site and wasn't sure how to do a search for it. (I tried, but the search turned up one site devoted to a young lady named Cucumber Cathy, and another devoted to the ancient ritual of vegetable sacrifice. I was too scared to proceed further.)

ok .. someone bitchslap me quickly because I have way too much LDS knowledge ...

Not me... I haven't bitchslapped anyone since the sixth grade.

 

[Ardsgaine]

Agh! Pay no attention to the double post...

 

[fury]

I'm gonna take a line from kuu's sig...

When I read about the evils of wanking, I gave up reading.

 

[Shadowfax]

Yeah, my arm is my last and only friend

One advantage: it makes you look better, those strong arms



...or so they say...

 

[PT]

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem.

This is where I quit, It told me to.


Am I cured now?

 

[nalani]

Originally posted by Luis G

yeah, i assume *ahem*fucking*ahem* is way better than masturbating

Well, they are Mormons. What do you expect?

Mormons don't *fuck* .. they procreate

 

[Shadowfax]

 

[Luis G]

geez, i wonder if mormons really follow their rules.

i mean, imagine having 3 kids......

"PROCREATING" ONLY 3 TIMES IN A LIFETIME!!!!!! ?????