View Full Version : The unbelievably long story thread, part one
outside looking in
5/27/02, 11:58pm
Rules: post three to five words per post. Keep sentences somewhat grammatical, using periods to denote the end of a sentence so others don't just keep rambling on. ;) Um... that's it I guess.
outside looking in
5/27/02, 11:58pm
One cloudy day
, i humped Leslie on-teh lawn.
outside looking in
5/28/02, 12:47am
leslie, Gilbert's favorite pet goat,
outside looking in
5/28/02, 12:52am
was given to him three
outside looking in
5/28/02, 12:52am
years ago by his uncle.
outside looking in
5/28/02, 12:52am
Suddenly, Gilbert fell dead.
(post crash, keep on osli)
and found hiz darling leslie
giving soft kizzes on his protrusion.
MitchSchaft
5/28/02, 01:04am
I want greenfreak's ...
outside looking in
5/28/02, 01:26am
red balloon. It has
outside looking in
5/28/02, 01:26am
become apparent that
outside looking in
5/28/02, 01:27am
Gilbert can't count.
outside looking in
5/28/02, 01:33am
invaded Gilbert's campsite, and
MitchSchaft
5/28/02, 01:47am
each post should
outside looking in
5/28/02, 02:26am
After hearing that weird noise,
outside looking in
5/28/02, 02:26am
Sally stumbled out of the
coma, originally induced by sniffing the ass of a baby llama.
"Hmmmmmm...", said Master Yoda
outside looking in
5/28/02, 02:39am
after stroking his miniature
green, shrivelled, hairy, 800 year-old
greenfreak
5/28/02, 09:33am
like a brother. Yoda said,
the Dark Side Clouds EVERYTHING, apart from
outside looking in
5/28/02, 12:31pm
spacktards, which are always easy
considering one bad apple
outside looking in
5/28/02, 12:34pm
cake. I'm not sure what a bad apple cake is, but
150g of flour, seived, 1oz butter
outside looking in
5/28/02, 01:57pm
and a pint of Guiness.
toss for hours until hands are sticky
outside looking in
5/28/02, 01:59pm
Oh yes, and it must
outside looking in
5/28/02, 01:59pm
be removed from the oven with the force
outside looking in
5/28/02, 02:00pm
to be a genuine
outside looking in
5/28/02, 02:02pm
bad apple Star Wars cake.
and served with chocomochareastero
outside looking in
5/28/02, 02:54pm
it makes a delicious snack.
under the laws for cake-making
outside looking in
5/28/02, 05:40pm
you'll find a horrible
recipe by jamie oliver, banned
by the security commision of Belgrade and
MitchSchaft
5/28/02, 06:43pm
you can't make more than one post consecutively.
...said the officiator. No multispamachocomoccoeasteroactivesconsecutiverisat ions!
outside looking in
5/28/02, 10:18pm
Then fury stopped in, and told the officiator to
grab ahold of the cow man's
MitchSchaft
5/28/02, 11:01pm
vagina
outside looking in
5/28/02, 11:51pm
which really pissed off his
MitchSchaft
5/29/02, 12:01am
anus
outside looking in
5/29/02, 02:41am
and made his
mother go AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
'VE GOT LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS! :D
not many Orangutans in the place they usually hang out. Weird that, because
MitchSchaft
5/29/02, 09:09am
my mama always said
Justintime
5/29/02, 09:30am
Orangutans hang out there and
discuss weekly news issues
orangutang hair harvester.
WTF ?
(those are 3 words, hehe)[/siz]
This harvester is made by Sweedish virgins who
mail order them to specialist
humped Gilvert wildlee screaming,
&Tennile's Love willl
Shaking his head at the odd previous statement the bum,
Gato_Solo
5/29/02, 03:05pm
[/SIZ]
outside looking in
5/29/02, 03:29pm
And everyone in unison said "WTF?"
outside looking in
5/29/02, 03:44pm
The Russian army
ran out of chocomochareastero after
outside looking in
5/29/02, 03:47pm
they slept with all of
claire sat up, switched on the radio
*crrrrrrrrrrr...ssssshhhhh...."gale force 8, strong to med"....sshh...crrr...."A wondering minstral"...shhh..."Sports news now, in boxing, Mike Ty"...crrr....sshhh....*
outside looking in
5/29/02, 11:34pm
"and now for the lesbian sock puppet happy hour..."
Suddenly, the radio exploded
showering the carpet with plastic.
Seeing the explosion the mice,
gnawed Gilbert to bloody bits
before declaring a day of celebration
. Recent events concerning the genetically-enhanced tortoise army
came to an abrupt end when
Gilberts goat commenced eating the bloody bits before the evidence could be gathered...
and started a ninja-fight with throwing stars and nun-chucks.
The nuns objected to being chucked and promptly
before smoking a chronic blunt
and finding themselves with god who later was proven to be
which made the nuns want to smoke more chronic
blunty goodness. as the smoke rose
being all high, the nuns had not noticed they shampooed all the wool off the sheep
[/SIZ]
The light bouncing off the now ridiculously shiny sheep blinded passing motorists, causing
despite the frenzied masturbation of the german penguins.
meanwhile, tanks rolled into snowy
DuronClocker
5/30/02, 11:46pm
Tin-tin's dog, killing him instantly. None of the US-folk get the reference to the obscure French cartoon, so instead erect a massive
(from our friend MuFu who can't post right now, so I'm puttin it up for him)
wall to help block out the blinding sheep.
outside looking in
5/31/02, 02:09am
And then poor Sally's water broke.
Sally ran quickly to find a water pump to
orangeade well before remembering
astered the art of using "who" and "whom" correctly. ;)
Recent events in Pakistan have
brought the attention of a concerned world to
realize that if eliminated a large portion of
outside looking in
5/31/02, 06:16pm
breaded chickens
there would be more room for bald sheep
outside looking in
6/01/02, 12:48am
geronimo turtles. You know, the ones with ovegrown
hair in all the wrong places.
outside looking in
6/02/02, 12:52am
When Gillette found out about them,
a magical mushroom man appeared
outside looking in
6/02/02, 02:42am
and shaved all their asses. Literally.
Because of the great pile of hair
The Oreck vacuum cleaner man was called to the scene
to dispose of it all. testing a new
Refrain from personal attacks.
-- edited by s4
triscuits distributed through the
good guy gilbert foundation (gggf)
made peolpe laugh and cheer.
Not as Gilbert, he didn't. Maybe Wally or Mary Beth or occupant or.....
outside looking in
6/03/02, 12:54am
The triscuits were stale.
It was to bad that they were stale as well because everyone knows that
triscuits are great dunked in
lamb blood and fried over the open fire of
outside looking in
6/03/02, 06:18pm
(with mesquite smoke chips, of course).
meanwhile, at the town hall
The nuns were picketing....little did they know
that the riot police were converging
upon Sister Sledge, the funkiest nun in the convent.
but sister s saw them coming and slipped
outside looking in
6/03/02, 11:14pm
You should have seen that guy's face when he stood back up!
In the midst of the chaos the great lord Meakingesa appeared and
started a speech on freedom for herons
The nuns had to leave in a hurry, their coupons for Purina sheep chow arrived by special messenger in the midst of all
nine planets aligning causing totally unncessary "Alignment Of All 9 Nine Planet" Closures at ethnical food stores around the country. Meanwhile, back at second-hand prosthetics store
Holy Man jim acquired a portable leg to replace the one his lost in the battle of Armidia in the war of
the goat shavers. it had been a
quiet couple of weeks in the medical institute for people with no vocal chords but just because there was no noise, it didn't mean that there wasn't any
spanky panky. stretching vocal chords is a tricky
process, best implemented by forcing a traffic cone into
the victim, err patients, throat and scooping
outside looking in
6/04/02, 04:04pm
up the piles of goat hair with a wrinkled
nun, boy is that big headgear hard to get in the cone, sometimes you gotta use a
specially formed newspaper funnel
still the nuns struggle...feeding them oreos seems to
super-nunny powers. rosaries went flying
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
it was a triumph of modern medicine that
the wrinlked nun treatment worked, Because of this
outside looking in
6/04/02, 11:33pm
Godzilla refused to work until the union compensated him for his tremendous
Seeing this King Kong joined Godzilla in his quest and
started up a small market stall in faversham, kent
outside looking in
6/05/02, 01:16pm
and barbie's favorite
to sell bargain hair replacement therapies.
but Barbies asshole just couldn't keep his hands off King Kong forcing Godzilla to
break open a can o' whoop ass. Meanwhile on Uranus
3 galactic-hairoids walked into a bar
outside looking in
6/05/02, 06:19pm
and were met by three stunning nuns walking bald goats on leashes.
the leashes were studded with pure furoniman, the legendary
sauve of gods, great it was!
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
outside looking in
6/06/02, 12:27am
Captain Kirk pissed on
george lucas' magic hairpiece
George was fit to be tied....but desperately in need of a clean hairpiece he called up the stoned nun shampoo commitee....the line was busy
so for relief he called 0898 hot-hairpiece
who sent a consultant over immediately
on hamster-back to tend to his folicular needs. Unfortunately, the only hairy object to hand was a
gaint hairy man-buttock, that had been
over used my the shaved goats and godzilla.
the nuns and shiny bald sheep rejoiced
for victory was truly theirs, except
outside looking in
6/06/02, 05:04pm
for the three generals of the army of
ugly people, who won their battles by frightening the opposition. Strangely, most members of the army looked like
that greatest of spacktards
outside looking in
6/06/02, 08:30pm
Their leader,
the Rt. Honourable his Royal Spacktardiousness, Earl Spack of Spacktardia...
the grand, almighty, field marshall of spam,
unfortunately, the spacktard was stampeded by the sheep, Gilberts goat and Barbies asshole. The prognosis is grim
outside looking in
6/06/02, 11:17pm
but the doctor prescribed three rectal exams, and found
the greatest mirical of all the superb great and amazing
outside looking in
6/07/02, 02:13am
"removing mold from old bread" miracle.
a cold spell will move in from the west, bringing
, although spermcounts went through the roof throughout the country.
that very morning, the post brought
great pain to the guy that accidentally sat on it, thinking it was a
Justintime
6/08/02, 04:45pm
pneumatic buns firmer, but it was really a
sphincter-expanding torture device, first used by the Germans during
DuronClocker
6/09/02, 03:46am
where all the drunken mules
wore lederhosen and danced gaily in the streets with the stoned nuns(boy, those nuns get around)
stoning nuns has been declared as a violation of
Barbies asshole's personal code of conduct and the sheep shearers federation international
along with the congress of fortune cookie populists
Who were attempting to insert fortunes in Bratwurst
to corner the growing after-dinner sausage market.
when Microsoft integrated after-dinner sausages into WindowsXP-S
our stomachs started to crash
Despite the instability, MS won the sausage war forcing the fortune cookie people to
relocate and find a way to battle the evil MS empire on a different front which was
outside looking in
6/10/02, 02:36am
to create a new competitor: MegaHard.
Megahard would be the ultimate way to take over the entire market, by up ending MS and also creating a new market this would enable them to
crash free fortune-bratwursts.
but Gilberts goat ate the only beta crash free fortune bratwurst....all subsequent bratwursts have required patches
So they dressed the goat up as a
giant hairball to sneak it through customs
outside looking in
6/10/02, 02:12pm
but they were stopped for transporting a
flick knife and short-dated camembert. the search also
produced the heroin ballons the nuns had hidden in the goat, this confused the custom officials as they were unclear as to what to list the suspect as
, anime-al, vegetabull or skinnable.
Instead, the customs officials just got stoned on heroin and
caused a huge traffic jam by pulling seats out of cars and leaving them all over the road...the goat thought this was really funny and
knew it was worth cutting the smack with chocomochareastero
So he could afford a gold-plated-tin can medallion
outside looking in
6/11/02, 12:52am
that says "Pity the Fool!"
. medallions of this type have been seen through history
in the war of the ape skinners as well as the battle of the
flowery kitchen cleaners. this thursday marks the
goth celebration of 'Thursday the 13th' in which
jason the barber, dressed in a
sequin and fake fur Barbie dress
And sang 'Bela Lugosi's Dead' as he walked to
the corner pub, where nobody really likes him....he used to have quite a few friends there until he started
to talk about his ineractions with the dead that were found at his barber shop, it turned out he liked to
perm the dead people, but he found out that it's not a good idea to
do it in the salon during business hours
Jason the barber also noticed he'd been receiving many many inquiries about wool implants for sheep...perhaps these sheep could finance his flamboyant
species-change operation. He wanted to
create an impressive 5-ass goat, important for
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