Justintime
5/08/02, 04:27pm
1. Why did God create woman?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
2. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her.
3. Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
4. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
5. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak
6. How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
7. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.
8. Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator
9. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
10. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what
have you done wrong?
You made her chain too long.
11. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
12. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
13. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
14. How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on
our dick
15. What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
16. Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
She knows she's given her last blow job.
17. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with
everyone at the party except you.
18. Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a
waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
19. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
20. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
21. Why did the woman cross the road?
What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
22. Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
Cause it doesn't need cleaning yet
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
2. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
Phone her.
3. Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
4. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
5. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak
6. How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
7. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.
8. Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator
9. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
10. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what
have you done wrong?
You made her chain too long.
11. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
12. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
13. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
14. How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on
our dick
15. What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
16. Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
She knows she's given her last blow job.
17. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with
everyone at the party except you.
18. Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a
waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
19. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
20. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
21. Why did the woman cross the road?
What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
22. Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
Cause it doesn't need cleaning yet