View Full Version : My gf dumped me a few weeks ago
outside looking in
4/16/02, 04:26pm
After having dated for over a year. Now, she still wants to talk, she says she misses me, and tells me that I was the one that broke up with her. All well and good, except that she is still confused about what she wants, and just how she feels.
Damn women.
:headbang:
Too bad :( Damn women - I'll give you that, we are fickle bitches in the main. Did you tell her what you want? Being nosy now - what do you want?
outside looking in
4/16/02, 04:50pm
She knows what I want. I wanted her, no conditions, no stipulations. I enjoy spending time with her, on whatever terms there have to be. I could see spending the rest of my life with her, but I'm in no hurry either.
It's been a semi-long distance thing for half a year, and would have been even longer come next fall. I'm not sure if she is comfortable with that. What can I do?
I'm just in this semi-limbo now... don't know what she's thinking, or what she's feeling. Much less what she wants. Don't know if I should see other people (she's not, but I don't know if that's cause she thinks we shouldn't, or she'd just generally too confused about things right now to throw something else into the mix).
Oh well, life sucks sometimes.
Sorry to hear. Women can often get confused on what they want in life, especially when who they want to share that life with is someone they have no way of getting (the perfect man). There will always be differences in a relationship, what makes it stronger is being able to understand and accept that those differences will always be there. Perhaps she didn't have enough confidence in herself to be able to understand and accept the possibility of there being differences, arguments, and fights. Just a wild guess.
Noone but her can really tell you what she wants, hard situation for you, I will say that long distance is difficult - been there done that. Is she afraid of the committment or wanting it? Did she say? It would be difficult for the two of you to move ahead with anything until she's had some time to think, I feel.
I can't help you with that one. I hope it works out for you.
outside looking in
4/16/02, 06:32pm
Hmm... well, there were never any fights in over a year, hardly any argument that lasted over 30 seconds. It was almost too good. In fact, even after the breakup, she's made it clear that she couldn't imagine anyone being any better to her, or anyone she'd be more attracted to. She describes me as her "perfect" man. ?(
L. Summerton, I do think maybe she's just not ready for a serious commitment. I'm a couple of years older, and she's heading back to graduate school. She's probably thinking about what happens when she graduates... can she find a job near me, or me near her? I can completely understand that, and like I said, I'm in no rush. Still, I don't want to lose someone I care about just because she's a bit confused. All I know to do is give her the space she apparently needs, and see what happens. I've always been of the opinion that I shouldn't think so much about the future that I spoil the moment... why do women have to overanalyze everything?
I don't know why we do that, I regret it a lot sometimes myself, genetic programming I think. Can't shake it, just have to live with it. :)
Space is likely what it'll take, do you have to break up to have space? Could you maybe just 'open it up a bit'? Don't know what else to say.
outside looking in
4/16/02, 09:00pm
Yeah, I don't really think she wanted to "break up" per se. I knew something was wrong, but she didn't want to talk about it. Finally, I just asked her if she wanted to break up "or something." She cried a bit, and asked what the "or something" option was. Of course, it feels like we've broken up... Problem is, I just really don't know where things stand, and I'm not about to be pushy and make her tell me. I'm a nice guy (wish I weren't fairly often), so I'll just wait until she sorts things out.
It's hell right now though. :grumpy:
greenfreak
4/17/02, 02:10pm
Hi there, I don't know ya yet but feel compelled to reply...
You mentioned that it would be a long distance relationship... Those are hard. I tried it once, thought we had a strong relationship but over months of only phone calls, I guess it waned. I'm not sure what else I can tell you but to just make sure she knows that this is not what you want if she's unsure. I know you want to give her her space but she might misinterpret that into meaning you don't care if you don't see her.
Good luck with it, no matter what happens. :)
outside looking in
4/17/02, 05:58pm
Thanks. :)
Girls are so much better to get relationship advice from... :)
greenfreak
4/17/02, 06:12pm
I used to think about stuff like that night and day and obsess over it. Then I met Rusty and I don't need to go through that anymore thank God.
But yeah women think of things like that I guess!
Originally posted by fury
Sorry to hear. Women can often get confused on what they want in life, especially when who they want to share that life with is someone they have no way of getting (the perfect man). There will always be differences in a relationship, what makes it stronger is being able to understand and accept that those differences will always be there. Perhaps she didn't have enough confidence in herself to be able to understand and accept the possibility of there being differences, arguments, and fights. Just a wild guess.
In matters of the heart it pays not to listen to the inexperienced.
greenfreak
4/18/02, 09:39am
Actually, I think there's truth in what Fury said... But that's just a woman's point of view ;)
Hey krusty-How you doin? :cool:
Justintime
4/18/02, 09:42am
Originally posted by sbcanada
Girls are so much better to get relationship advice from... :)
Yes, you do give good advice :)
Snicker*
outside looking in
4/19/02, 03:51pm
lol. :D
I sorta suck at the whole relationship thing - so I'll just hug you and tell you I hope you get through it alright :)
Whatever you do, don't try the "friends with benefits" thing if you still care about her. I've been there before. It sucked, and everyone else had to listen to me bitch about it. :(
As I was once told by a classmate: You can't fuck for sport if you still care about the person.
My 2¢
Professur
4/19/02, 09:01pm
Fucking for sport. I've never heard it phrased quite so elloquently before.
Fucking for sport. Couldn't be in the 2002 Olypics cause it was in Mormonville (don't just on me for calling it that - I'm a Mormon ;)) Who thinks it should be petitioned for the 2004 winter games? :D
greenfreak
4/19/02, 11:15pm
I had a successful 'bed buddy' relationship for 6 months with an ex until I found someone else. It all depends on the people involved and if they can truly handle a no-strings-attached relationship.
outside looking in
4/20/02, 02:04am
Well, since it's long distance anyway, I don't think I'll have to worry about that happening.
One I usually hear is that women get bored. Relationships become too predicable and their level of interest steady drains away. Not sure with that woudl apply to this situation however such did happen to me once before.
Speaking of which i read an interesting quote one time...
"Nice guys finished last! You know why? Because the women they are with get bored and leave."
outside looking in
4/30/02, 10:28am
Yeah, I think that might apply a bit here. Stupid women, never know what they've got until they push it away and it's gone forever. :(
just pretend you havent split up and continue to act that way -= at least until the restraining orders come into play
:mad2: Stupid women! Who do they think they are? :P
:laugh:
outside looking in
4/30/02, 02:50pm
Originally posted by ihcra
just pretend you havent split up and continue to act that way -= at least until the restraining orders come into play
:rofl:
Gato_Solo
4/30/02, 03:09pm
Bah...all useless advice, so far. Here's what you need to do...
If you still have feelings for her, then let her alone for a while. If she comes back, then she actually loves you and you can go from there.
If you do NOT have feelings for her, I suggest the following...
Date her until you get the sex. The morning after the sex, good, bad, or indifferent, give her the old 'I need some space' speech that women always give men when they think they've got everything you can give.
Originally posted by Gato_Solo
Date her until you get the sex. The morning after the sex, good, bad, or indifferent, give her the old 'I need some space' speech that women always give men when they think they've got everything you can give.
:grumpy: :mad:
:rofl2:
Gato_Solo
4/30/02, 03:26pm
The best revenge is using your enemies weapons against her... :D :P
:angel2: women wouldn't do that! :angel2:
:laugh:
Originally posted by L. Summerton
:mad2: Stupid women! Who do they think they are? :P
:laugh:
yo' momma
Gato_Solo
4/30/02, 03:47pm
Uhhh, Wimol, Leslie Summerton is a woman.
i though personal attacks were against the rules - it is possible to mean woman in a derogatory sense - therefore it is a tough call if that is a personal attack or not
Originally posted by Gato_Solo
Uhhh, Wimol, Leslie Summerton is a woman.
:winkkiss:
Berserker
5/14/02, 05:54am
Originally posted by Gato_Solo
Bah...all useless advice, so far. Here's what you need to do...
If you still have feelings for her, then let her alone for a while. If she comes back, then she actually loves you and you can go from there.
If you do NOT have feelings for her, I suggest the following...
Date her until you get the sex. The morning after the sex, good, bad, or indifferent, give her the old 'I need some space' speech that women always give men when they think they've got everything you can give.
That's what my friends always told me as an advice and i got mad at all of the ladies that I've dated and sometimes they just show you their bad side of their personalities.
Who can live with such persons that only talks negatively about themselves. I though a lady should have self respect and for guys to respect them as well.
I feel that ladies now are so materialistic and look for the guys that can fill their desire :grumpy:
Originally posted by Berserker
I feel that ladies now are so materialistic and look for the guys that can fill their desire :grumpy:
Ditto. :(
RL
outside looking in
5/21/02, 12:06am
Update:
Went to the town where she lives this past weekend (where I went to school) to see some other friends, and check on an engineering project they are doing (I'm kind of like their mentor... they have to get my approval).
We have spoken maybe twice in the past month. She couldn't keep her hands off me the whole weekend (no way I could avoid her... my friends are her friends, and she usually eats with them at least once or twice a weekend). She's called me three times since I left last night.
I don't understand women. And you know what? I don't think I ever want to. The mystery is half the fun. ;)
Gato_Solo
5/23/02, 10:33am
Did you follow my advice? ;)
outside looking in
5/26/02, 05:52pm
The first part of your advice applied, not the second. I'm still waiting, sort of. ;)
outside looking in
5/26/02, 05:59pm
She called the other day when she found out that some friends of mine were coming down for a few days of tremdous partying and club hopping. She "reminded" me that I didn't need anyone else in my bed other than me.
Women are so predictably unpredictable.
freako104
5/26/02, 10:41pm
hey i know how it is. have you told her how you felt about what shes doing and has she said how she feels about whats going on? i think you two should talk things out and gt both your feelings and emotions out. hope all will be ok for ya.
outside looking in
5/26/02, 11:28pm
bah, she knows how I feel, and it's becoming clear how she feels. She really does care about me; I think the whole long distance thing and some big changes in her life have just taken front stage for her right now.
I have no problem with that. She was pretty cruel and hateful to me a couple of weeks ago, and I let her know last weekend that I was almost determined to never speak to her. Funny, since then she's been an angel.
Maybe if I slap her a few times, she'll come around completely. :D (j/k leslie et al)
Women are, well, :confuse3:
Originally posted by outside looking in
Maybe if I slap her a few times, she'll come around completely. :D (j/k leslie et al)
I wouldn't call it a joke....is the truth :eek:
Some women are just like squash balls, the harder you hit them, the faster they come back...(hit not in the context of physical hitting)
outside looking in
5/27/02, 02:42am
yeah, I started a thread weeks ago and asked if I should get a shirt that says "If I beat you, will you love me?"
Don't know why females are like that, but many are. Treat them like a queen, and they get bored and leave. Mistreat them regularly, and they just keep clinging to you hoping you'll be nicer.
:confuse3:
I know there are plenty of women out there not like that... I just haven't met many. I think me ex is the closest that I've actually dated. With some work, she might actually cease to be so twisted. :D
now i know where i've been going wrong all these years, i've been too nice! damnit, and i thought that's what they wanted....:mad2: ;)
Gato_Solo
5/27/02, 08:40am
She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes.
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
and she always reveals what she wants you to see,
she hides like a child but she is always a woman to me.
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you,
she can ask for the truth but she will never believe and
she will take what you give her as long as it's free.
Yes, she steals like a thief but...
...Oh!...She takes care of herself...wait if she wants,
she is ahead of her time...and she never gives in,
she just changes her mind, and she will promise you more
than the garden of Eden and she will caressly cut you
and laugh while you're bleeding but she will bring out
the best and the worst you can be, blame it all on yourself 'cause...
...She takes care of herself...She is frequently kind
and she is suddenly cruel and she can do what she pleases,
she is nobody's fool and she can't be convicted,
she has earned her degree and the most she will do is throw shadows at you but...
That reminds me of the song erase/rewind.....
ris: :D :D, be "nice", mwehehehe
outside looking in
5/27/02, 02:36pm
Billy Joel?
Nope, The Cardingans
Nice song
the cardigans are cool, i like their life album :)
freako104
5/27/02, 10:16pm
i did the same thing to my ex when she did something that hurt me really badly and i said i didnt want to talk to her ever. she changed and stopped doing anything to hurt me. hope it all works out for you two. and long distance relations are the hardest. hope you two find a way to beat that. rock on!!
freako104
5/27/02, 10:18pm
whats odd is i always treated my ex like a queen and she clung to me like crazy. i wonder if i dated some really wierd girl who wanted respect and finally got it or if she was just happy being with someone who cared for her and showed it. either way it was cool.
outside looking in
5/27/02, 10:28pm
I think at some point most women make a change from clinging to the wife beaters to clinging to the true gentlemen... that is unless they married a wife beater first. ;)
My ex is really never clinged to the wife beaters before, I think she just got an overdose of gentleman, and didn't know what to do with it. :D
you really shouldn't have given her so much 'gentleman' ;) :D
i have far too many women as friends because i'm too nice.
outside looking in
5/28/02, 02:04pm
Yeah, you're right. I've been a bit more harsh lately, and she's coming around. ;)
And I have a ton of female friends too. If they only knew how bad I wanted to shag them!
Whenever a woman tells you "let's be friends", you should be aware that you have been too nice with her ;)
hehe
outside looking in
5/28/02, 08:40pm
Usually true. When my ex and I split up, she left it up to me whether or not we would still talk at all.
Maybe I should have just said "no" and been done with it. :) Nah...
i'm, not in contact with any of my ex's. obviously when they chose the nice boyf they expected me to act a gent 24/7 and didn't bargain on getting a total wanker bundled in for free :D
I'm in contact with many of my exgirlfriends, one gave a letter this saturday ;)
outside looking in
5/28/02, 10:38pm
Always nice to have several ex's in the back pocket (or, in the front pocket perhaps). Sometimes a man just gets lonely. ;)
Hehehehe, i'm never lonely
outside looking in
5/29/02, 02:37am
Great, I just realized that there have been 400 views... people reading about my failed love life. :)
Experience has told me that if you meet a girl and she says she wants to be friends first, then you're doomed to be only friends forever. Either they just tell you that to string you along, or they really mean it but decide the friendship's too valuable. In eithe rcase, you'll never be more than that.
Brandi and I started off as BF/GF, and it's worked well so far.
outside looking in
6/03/02, 11:18pm
Well, we certainly didn't start that way. She has always wanted me (until she got me of course).
Women. :confuse3: :retard6:
Professur
7/22/05, 04:10pm
Experience has told me that if you meet a girl and she says she wants to be friends first, then you're doomed to be only friends forever. Either they just tell you that to string you along, or they really mean it but decide the friendship's too valuable. In eithe rcase, you'll never be more than that.
Brandi and I started off as BF/GF, and it's worked well so far.
:rofl:
"So far" is the key phrase in that one.
Famous last words of the guy walking across the minefield.
I think we haven't heard from OLI since he got married :eek6:
That happened to renegade too!
hmmmmmmmmmm
freako104
7/25/05, 05:38pm
I think we haven't heard from OLI since he got married :eek6:
That happened to renegade too!
hmmmmmmmmmm
Renny came back for a little while but not a whole lot. Kind of miss the guy. Hope he visits soon.
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