Cancer sucks

[BeardofPants]

Well, I've known for about a month or so that my opa has cancer, and only months to live. On Monday, I was pulled out of a meeting at work to answer a call from my mother. Opa had apparently been admitted to hospital with complications. I rush from work to visit him in hospital, and this once proud, strong man, is now bedridden and in tremendous pain. They had him doped to the eyeballs, so he was in and out of consciousness, and my oma was just beside herself with grief. Yesterday (tuesday), I'm back at work, when I got another call from my mother. He had had further complications, and they only gave him 2 days to live. I spent all day yesterday (valentines day) in hospital with oma and the rest of my family on Death Watch. I'm home today, as he has stabilised, but I'm on-call just in case. :(

[tonksy]

I'm sorry, BoP :sadhug:

[HomeLAN]

I'm sorry. I've kinda been where you are, so if you need a voice....

[Professur]

They gave Cat's dad hours to live. That was about 6 months ago, wasn't it Cat?

[BeardofPants]

Thanx HL. I'm kinda numb right now, not quite sure what to do y'know? It feels terrible waiting.

[abooja]

I'm very sorry to hear that, BoP. Best wishes being sent your way. :sadhug:

[Leslie]

Sorry, BoP :sadhug:

[Gonz]

My condolences.

[unclehobart]

:crying4:
I've always hated the helpless feeling when a loved one is in pain and you can't do shite about it.

[Uki Chick]

Wow! I know exactly what you're going through BoP. I went through the same thing a few years ago with mine. If you need to talk, I'm willing to listen. I will keep your opa in my prayers. :sadhug:

[SouthernN'Proud]

Hqving been diagnosed with cancer m'self, I fully empathize with what you're going through.

It does suck.

Holler if you need to. I'll do what I can.

[BeardofPants]

Thanks SNP. And others.

[greenfreak]

I'm sorry BoP, I wish for the end to his pain, and that yours is eased also. How telling that everyone here has dealt with a loved one (or themselves) with cancer. It's a horrible thing, to be sure. But you do have us a sounding board if you need us. :sadhug:

[chcr]

I don't usually discuss stuff like this (just not the way I am). My mom died of lung cancer a little over a year ago. Dara's mom (and dad) are living with us now. Her mom has stomach cancer and probably won't make it until summer. I hope your Opa's pain is eased soon. I'm pretty philosophical about death myself, but that doesn't make it any less painful to lose someone you love.

[Winky]

Yeah Me Mah went that way.
Lung cancer that spread all over.
I remember huggin' her that one last time,
before it got so bad they upped the meds
kept her under til she passed...

As for goin' that way I'm sure it sucks
but we all gotta leave sometime.

But if I had the choice Bon Jovi sed it best

"Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
'Cause I'm going down in a blaze of glory"

[Luis G]

Having lost my father and aunt under similar circumstances, I know how you feel.

All I can say is that I'm sorry.

[paul_valaru]

sorry BoP

[BeardofPants]

Thanks again, guys. Yesterday, it looked like he was stabilising, but now it's a wait-and-see game as he now has fluid on the lungs. I'll be going back in to visit, and hopefully catch up with the doctor to see what that means.

[Uki Chick]

Thanks again, guys. Yesterday, it looked like he was stabilising, but now it's a wait-and-see game as he now has fluid on the lungs. I'll be going back in to visit, and hopefully catch up with the doctor to see what that means.

Basicly, water on the lungs is not a good sign. They can drain the water but if it keeps coming back, there is nothing more they can do.

[BeardofPants]

Well, they've taken him off the antibiotics, and they ain't draining him, so yeah, nothing more they can do. He's not going to live out the week, according to the doctors.

Thanks again for all the support. It helps.

[ekahs retsam]

Well, they've taken him off the antibiotics, and they ain't draining him, so yeah, nothing more they can do. He's not going to live out the week, according to the doctors.

Thanks again for all the support. It helps.

:( hang in there, and remember doctors are not always right. My grandpa was told he would likely die in two weeks and kept on kicking for over a year.

[Uki Chick]

I'm so sorry BoP. It brings back a lot of memories for me to hear about all this. I can take a couple of days to more than a week, depending on the person. Just be strong! Both my grandparents held on for quite a few days even after all was stopped except the morphine to keep them comfortable.

[SouthernN'Proud]

When the fluid keeps getting into the lungs, it's not a good sign. Amid your sadness, try to focus on positive memories, and how you don't want him to suffer. Cheap words I know, but it's about all I got right now. Never an easy process.

Chin up. Brighter days ahead.

[BeardofPants]

At this stage, I'm more worried about my oma, than about me. They've been married 53 years, and she's taking it really hard. They've got him dosed on morphine, and heavily sedated, cos when he's awake, the wily bugger keeps trying to escape to go home. (don't know whether to laugh or cry at that one.)

[Gonz]

Then why isn't he at home? I'd rather die comfortable, near my stuff & in my house, than anywhere the medical commuity could throw together?

[BeardofPants]

It doesn't matter anymore - he died this morning. My mother tried to call me early this morning, but as per usual, I didn't hear the fucking phone.

[tonksy]

I'm so sorry, hun...but at least he isn't in pain anymore. I wish that could offer you some comfort.

[abooja]

My deepest condolences. :(

[HomeLAN]

I'm sorry.

[BeardofPants]

So am I. I'm gonna miss the old fart. Even in the end he was a perverse fucker. He kept setting off the drip beeper thing cos he kept occluding the tube. I straightened his arm out and stopped the beeping, he gave me that shit-eating grin, and deliberately bent his arm again.

[catocom]

Just saw this.
I grieve for you loss BoP. :(

They gave Cat's dad hours to live. That was about 6 months ago, wasn't it Cat?
yep, it was different from some types of cancer though.

[Professur]

It doesn't matter anymore - he died this morning. My mother tried to call me early this morning, but as per usual, I didn't hear the fucking phone.

Of course it matters. *hug* I'm not gonna snowjob ya with "He's not in pain anymore" Or "he went quick". Not even with "He's in a better place". Only "His time's done. Now go on deal with the loss, and remember what he'd done." You're in pain now, and so are the rest of your family. If you weren't, it would mean that you didn't care, and he didn't matter. The more it hurts just goes to prove how much you loved him. Remember his smile, his laugh, and his hugs.

[Inkara1]

Of course it matters. *hug* I'm not gonna snowjob ya with "He's not in pain anymore" Or "he went quick". Not even with "He's in a better place". Only "His time's done. Now go on deal with the loss, and remember what he'd done." You're in pain now, and so are the rest of your family. If you weren't, it would mean that you didn't care, and he didn't matter. The more it hurts just goes to prove how much you loved him. Remember his smile, his laugh, and his hugs.

[Gonz]

Of course it matters. *hug* I'm not gonna snowjob ya with "He's not in pain anymore" Or "he went quick". Not even with "He's in a better place". Only "His time's done. Now go on deal with the loss, and remember what he'd done." You're in pain now, and so are the rest of your family. If you weren't, it would mean that you didn't care, and he didn't matter. The more it hurts just goes to prove how much you loved him. Remember his smile, his laugh, and his hugs.

[K62]

I'm very, very sorry BoP. :crying4: :hug:

[paul_valaru]

my condolences

[Uki Chick]

My sincerest condolensces BoP. Like Prof said, remember the good times. It will get easier on the family and your oma will get better in time as well. Women tend to be quite strong through tough times. My prayers go out to you and your family. :sadhug: