View Full Version : Study: Living together (before marriage) may lead to breakup
ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Couples in the United States who live together before marrying may be more likely to consider divorce than those who do not, according to a study released Wednesday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's health statistics division.
The study's findings are based on interviews conducted in 1995 with about 11,000 women ages 15 to 44.
Couples who did not live together before marrying had a 31 percent chance of splitting up after 10 years, compared with a 40 percent chance for couples who cohabited before marriage, the study found.
One of the study's authors said the report did not draw the conclusion that living together before marriage was the cause of the relationship ending.
"It may not be the experience of cohabiting but the people who cohabit," said William Mosher.
"What we're saying about that is that we think that couples who cohabit before marriage may have different values than couples who do not," he said.
Couples who live together before marriage may be the type of people who are "more likely to consider divorce," he explained.
The CDC's National Center for Health Statistics report also compared the success rates for marriage and pre-marital cohabitation.
It found that the probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within five years is 20 percent, compared with the 49 percent probability of a pre-marital cohabitation breaking up within the same time period.
After 10 years, the study found, a first marriage has a 33 percent chance of ending compared with a 62 percent chance for cohabitations.
The data suggested that a woman's age, whether she comes from an intact two-parent home, the importance of religion in her life, and economic factors also play a part in how long a marriage or cohabitation will last.
The study also found that the likelihood that divorced women will remarry has been declining over the past 50 years. According to the 1995 data, women who divorced in the 1980s had a 50 percent chance of remarrying compared with 65 percent in the 1950s.
The study also found that white women who have separated from their spouses are more likely to end the relationship in divorce than are Hispanic or black women, and women living in prosperous communities are more likely to do so than those in poorer neighborhoods.
Source:
http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/07/24/cdc.marriagereport/index.html
unclehobart
7/25/02, 01:00pm
Geez... this study comes out every three months and gets touted like its amazing and spellbinding research. I agree with it in any case.
it doesn't affect me, i'm in the uk :D
*pleasegodnooneshowthewife:eek:*
Oh shit, I lived with my wife before we got married, think I'll just go ahead and divorce her now, save the time and effort of a long nasty divorce, this way we can do it while we still like each other. :headbang:
Studies are stupid. In a few years they'll do another one and this one will be disproved.
Btw, is it healthy to eat eggs this year, or not? :rolleyes:
*whew* .. it's a lucky thing we don't technically live together ku'u ... cause then, I'd have to divorce you too :D
Couldn't it also be saying something about the type of people who don't live together first? Like maybe they're a conservative type that would stick through a failed disfunctional relationship as opposed to someone else that would leave an emotionally abusive partner?
See, you can twist these things however you want.
freako104
7/25/02, 06:54pm
thats true in my soc classes and psych classes i learned people can and sometimes do mess with the test or results and cant totally be trusted although they are very accurate, take it with a grain of salt. yes ku it is healthy to eat eggs this year but just you wait til the next study. and i agree they are overdoing this kind of study year after year.
greenfreak
7/25/02, 09:52pm
It doesn't say how long the couples co-habitated before being married either. I don't think anyone should marry someone else without being with them for two years, at the least. Feelings wane and people change, you need quite a long time to get through that and make sure they're the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Or you could just depend on divorce like so many people do these days.
They spend so much money on stupid studies. It woudl be a valid study if they studied WHY the couples divorce. they are looking at ONE variable and the only way for it to be accuracte is for the survey group to be basically the same in everyother way. (time together, # of previous relationships/mariiages, etc)
Divorce sucks.
I'll second that.
They spend so much money on stupid studies. It woudl be a valid study if they studied WHY the couples divorce. they are looking at ONE variable and the only way for it to be accuracte is for the survey group to be basically the same in everyother way. (time together, # of previous relationships/mariiages, etc)
Nixy, I wish they could figure out the reasons why, but even if they did, there would still be a large number ending in divorce. Marriages start with both parties willing to accept each other, good or bad. Unfortunatly, some people just quit accepting the others faults, or their faults get worse, and their partner just can't deal with them anymore.
They don't even have to discover the cause of divorce because there's prolly no situation in which EVERYONE in that situation will get divroced. They should look at more variables than just cohabitation though to come to the conclusion that cohabitators have a higher divorce rate. All of the "extra" people who get divorced who have also cohabitated could also have something else in comment that the other cohabitators don't and that coudl be the cause.
unclehobart
7/26/02, 10:51am
To avoid divorce, one must merely never marry. You can be b/f g/f forever.
Couldn't it also be saying something about the type of people who don't live together first?
Yes.
One of the study's authors said the report did not draw the conclusion that living together before marriage was the cause of the relationship ending.
"It may not be the experience of cohabiting but the people who cohabit," said William Mosher.
"What we're saying about that is that we think that couples who cohabit before marriage may have different values than couples who do not," he said.
There are always exceptions to the rule. My wife and I lived together for about a year, and I'd like to think that our marriage is stronger than most.
Divorce sucks.
this is true .. but like marriage, when it's with the right person, it can be quite liberating ... and quite a blessing :D
To avoid divorce, one must merely never marry. You can be b/f g/f forever.
Tell that to God_Almighty and see what he thinks. :eek:
GOD ALMIGHTY
7/31/02, 03:05am
I made marriage as a way to have what each wants. The woman gets stability and the man gets sex. This is a gross oversimplification of the matter yet it is true nonetheless. If you would pay attention to what you are obliging yourself to, 'til death do us part, sickness and health, richer or poorer, those things are there for a reason. In 923, it made sense for adults of 12 to get married, thay would die before they were 30. In 1678, the same held true yet the age increased slightly, to about 16. In 2002, nobody knows themselves, much less a life partner, until they are well into their 20's. Do not rush into marriage. Because I expect you and your spouse to agree to and live with the boundries set by marriage. Nobody said it was easy. :biker:
Gato_Solo
5/26/05, 12:50am
Geez... this study comes out every three months and gets touted like its amazing and spellbinding research. I agree with it in any case.
I Hope tonks doesn't find this, unc... :eek2: :D
unclehobart
5/26/05, 06:35am
She wouldn't have if you didn't feel compelled to dig it up, sgt. ;)
the first step to failure is trying afterall.....homer simpson, eh?
Gato_Solo
5/26/05, 06:59am
She wouldn't have if you didn't feel compelled to dig it up, sgt. ;)
Me and my fiancee have been together for almost 6 years, and are showing no signs of a breakup. ;)
unclehobart
5/26/05, 07:03am
Me and my fiancee have been together for almost 6 years, and are showing no signs of a breakup. ;)
The sun has been together for 6 billion years... and you know that sucka is gonna break up at some point.
The rolling Stones have been together about that long too... think they'll ever break up?
greenfreak
5/26/05, 09:08am
To avoid divorce, one must merely never marry. You can be b/f g/f forever.
Working on it... Six years together, four of them living together.
Me and my fiancee have been together for almost 6 years, and are showing no signs of a breakup. ;)
Haven't both of you been married and divorced already? Did you live with your first wife before you married? Or am I thinking of someone else... :eh:
Me and my fiancee have been together for almost 6 years, and are showing no signs of a breakup. ;)
well, we've hit over a year and i'd say we are just as happy now as ever. how many of you all gave us that long?
Uki Chick
5/26/05, 11:25am
I'll second that.
I'll third that.
Divorce does suck, and the study may or may not be right. In my case, it's right. we lived together for 71/2 years before we actually tied the knot, and 2.5 years later, we're getting divorced.
paul_valaru
5/26/05, 12:56pm
this is true .. but like marriage, when it's with the right person, it can be quite liberating ... and quite a blessing :D
no offense to any former wives of mine....hi nat!
but this it true as well, I think we are both better off now.
no offense to any former wives of mine....hi nat!
but this it true as well, I think we are both better off now. Wives? YOu been holding out on us, Pauly?!?
paul_valaru
5/26/05, 02:58pm
Wives? YOu been holding out on us, Pauly?!?
oh yeah a whole string of em
Gato_Solo
5/26/05, 11:58pm
Haven't both of you been married and divorced already? Did you live with your first wife before you married? Or am I thinking of someone else... :eh:
Yep. We've both been through the 'meatgrinder'. As to my first wife...we didn't live together first.
One of if not the most important decisions
is choosing a mate!
Gato_Solo
5/27/05, 12:13am
One of if not the most important decisions
is choosing a mate!
Unfortunately, men do not really have a choice as to who we marry. Women do the choosing. All we can do is try to offer her the best choice. :devious:
100% of all western marriages are by choice of the female. All men can do is ask. ;)
Gato_Solo
5/27/05, 01:07am
If you say so...
Did you ask you wife, or did your wife ask you?
It was she that pursued me from the start.
But after four years of being together
and having already buying a house together
yes, it was I that said:
“Let's get married”
Her response:
“You aren't serious!”
heh
Gato_Solo
5/27/05, 02:18am
It was she that pursued me from the start.
But after four years of being together
and having already buying a house together
yes, it was I that said:
“Let's get married”
Her response:
“You aren't serious!”
heh
How many women did you pursue until you met the 'right one'? How many did you consider marrying before the wifey put you in the stranglehold of luv? How many told you 'no', in some form, or another?
So...in other words...she chose you. ;) Now...looking back...did you really have a choice of staying, or leaving?
freako104
5/27/05, 02:23am
To avoid divorce, one must merely never marry. You can be b/f g/f forever.
Sound advice :D
Gato: Doesnt both people in a relationship have the right to leave if they feel it isnt working or whatever?
Gato_Solo
5/27/05, 02:41am
Sound advice :D
Gato: Doesnt both people in a relationship have the right to leave if they feel it isnt working or whatever?
Context, freako, context. I'm talking about something else entirely. ;)
“How many women did you pursue until you met the 'right one'?”
Zero I was an avowed self-interested guy!
“How many did you consider marrying before the wifey put you in the stranglehold of luv?”
Zero Zip Nada.
“How many told you 'no', in some form, or another?”
For a meaningful life long relationship? Zero!
For sum fun er whatnot, Um more than I can count?!? heh
“So...in other words...she chose you.
Now...looking back...did you really have a choice of staying, or leaving?”
Now that's a great one.
On one hand of course I coulda bailed at anytime or screwed things up beyond repair.
But leave? Hell who am I kiddin'. OK yeah she'd a had to
have thrown my ass out the door. She's prolly thinkin' 'bout that even now!
One thing is for sure she didn't place to many demands on me.
Other than the "give up the booze or you are history"
or the "Ya know, now that you are going to be a Father your gonna have to grow-up"
but hey one would have to be denser than depleted uranium not to make the correct choices when given those ultimatums Right? Am I right??? or whut?
Gato_Solo
5/27/05, 03:21am
“How many women did you pursue until you met the 'right one'?”
Zero I was an avowed self-interested guy!
“How many did you consider marrying before the wifey put you in the stranglehold of luv?”
Zero Zip Nada.
“How many told you 'no', in some form, or another?”
For a meaningful life long relationship? Zero!
For sum fun er whatnot, Um more than I can count?!? heh
“So...in other words...she chose you.
Now...looking back...did you really have a choice of staying, or leaving?”
Now that's a great one.
On one hand of course I coulda bailed at anytime or screwed things up beyond repair.
But leave? Hell who am I kiddin'. OK yeah she'd a had to
have thrown my ass out the door. She's prolly thinkin' 'bout that even now!
One thing is for sure she didn't place to many demands on me.
Other than the "give up the booze or you are history"
or the "Ya know, now that you are going to be a Father your gonna have to grow-up"
but hey one would have to be denser than depleted uranium not to make the correct choices when given those ultimatums Right? Am I right??? or whut?
So...you were never on the market, eh? :D Anyway, she still cut you from the herd. :D My point was that women are the ones who choose who they are going to marry, not men. Most women 'require' all sorts of things to get their attention...even if they're interested before you make the attempt. In the end, even if you ask for their hand in marriage, they can still say 'no' due to some real, or imagined, slight. :shrug:
"My point was that women are the ones who choose who they are going to marry, not men."
I always thought it was a 'mutual' decision???
Hey you are on yer 2nd sig other (right)?
At your age this whole marriage thing shouldn't be much of an issue.
You are either gonna stay hooked up with the
current 'Ms Right' or yer prolly gonna end up being a lonely old lounge lizard from now on.
Why don't you just come right out and state your position clearly.
On My Planet all Wimen's are in charge of is the nookie.
Gato_Solo
5/27/05, 04:14am
"My point was that women are the ones who choose who they are going to marry, not men."
I always thought it was a 'mutual' decision???
Sorry, but that's where most men are wrong. The ultimate decision is the woman's. She has the power to decide yes or no, and the ability to make, or break, the relationship at that point. Why do you think we men are always forced to ask?
Hey you are on yer 2nd sig other (right)?
At your age this whole marriage thing shouldn't be much of an issue.
You are either gonna stay hooked up with the
current 'Ms Right' or yer prolly gonna end up being a lonely old lounge lizard from now on.
Why don't you just come right out and state your position clearly.
On My Planet all Wimen's are in charge of is the nookie.
And you'll do just about anything to get that nookie...:grinyes:
At 22 yeah
now Hey them wimens bargining power is drastically reduced.
"Hey honey I was married for over two decades
doin' without ain't an issue for me..."
point was that women are the ones who choose who they are going to marry, not men
That's cuz they is the ones that get preggers.
Heck if ya ain't out to recreate a copy of yerself
(or take on the responsibility of raising some other guy’s brats)
then there’s few other reasons to sign up @ our age.
Now if you are a talkin’ about scoopin’ up a 20 sumthin’
and starting all over from scratch then that’s another matter entirely :deal:
I made marriage as a way to have what each wants. The woman gets stability and the man gets sex. This is a gross oversimplification of the matter yet it is true nonetheless. If you would pay attention to what you are obliging yourself to, 'til death do us part, sickness and health, richer or poorer, those things are there for a reason. In 923, it made sense for adults of 12 to get married, thay would die before they were 30. In 1678, the same held true yet the age increased slightly, to about 16. In 2002, nobody knows themselves, much less a life partner, until they are well into their 20's. Do not rush into marriage. Because I expect you and your spouse to agree to and live with the boundries set by marriage. Nobody said it was easy. :biker:
Hey, God... you misspelled "they" in that post. :bolt:
God doesn't make mistakes!
unclehobart
2/24/06, 08:12am
Disco, Farrah Fawcett, Idaho... God makes mistakes.
SouthernN'Proud
2/24/06, 08:58am
Disco was the work of Satan.
Farrah was the work of plastic surgery.
Idaho...what you got against taters?
yer livin' in yer
'own private Idaho'
Farrah Fawcett,.
You call those NIPS a mistake?
unclehobart
2/24/06, 03:24pm
No.. just her movies.
yer livin' in yer
'own private Idaho'
I need to remember to get my B-52s CD back from my mom.
SouthernN'Proud
2/24/06, 05:18pm
I need to remember to get my B-52s CD back from my mom.
I can honestly say, those words have never crossed my mind much less my lips.
I would like to inform everyone that today marks 2 years that Rob and I have been living in sin :)
Professur
2/24/06, 05:26pm
I would like to inform everyone that today marks 2 years that Rob and I have been living in sin :)
But your marriage won't last a week.
Scary enough, I've seen that happen. Our old next door neighbours. They'd been living together for 7 years, no problem. Got married, and within a year they were done.
But we're not getting married so in a sense you are right.
Professur
2/24/06, 05:29pm
But someone's getting 'screwed'.
:rofl2:
2 people actually....What's your point, you crusty ol' Canadian? ;)
unclehobart
2/24/06, 05:37pm
hairy and crusty at that.
But you really should get wedded.
The perfect couple ya are!
And Paul and Les too!
unclehobart
2/24/06, 07:20pm
*huggy wuggums for my widdle twacy wacy*
I can honestly say, those words have never crossed my mind much less my lips.
It's got a lot of good stuff on it! It's this one (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000062W1/qid=1140824487/sr=2-3/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_3/104-7240550-8897539?s=music&v=glance&n=5174)... all thriller, no filler. :D
*huggy wuggums for my widdle twacy wacy*
*Googles the term "involuntary commitment to mental institution in Georgia"*
Rob, whatever you do, DON'T GET IN THE MAGNUM WITH HOMELAN! You're NOT going for ice cream!!
I'm sure where he's going, he can have all the ice cream he wants. :D
I would like to inform everyone that today marks 2 years that Rob and I have been living in sin :)
No such thing. :P
Sure doesn't seem that long. Happy sinful living anniversary, you two.
Geez..........time flies, two years already :eek:
Yeah Louie time does fly.
and before they know it the baby gurls will be
a wearin' painted on hip huggers
(and have the curves to fill 'em out)
gettin' their belly buttons pierced
(with mom's approval over Unc's objections)
dragin' home boi's
getting their drivers licenses
and go traipsing off to collage or worse
and there will be the 'unmarried' old
couple wondering "what do we do now"?
so who do ya think the gurls will want to
‘walk them down the aisle”
Unc or Slim?!?
unclehobart
2/25/06, 08:33am
Whats gives thee an impression that I would object to piercings? It's their body. They are the ones that have to suck up the consequences, not me. Once they are old enough, they can do whatever they like. My job as a parent is to install habits to keep them in school, off drugs, outta jail, not smoke, and avoid pregnancy. Outside of that it would be nice if they picked up a finer depth of common sense, the ability to manage personal finances, social skills, a sense of self-preservation, confidence working with tools and on cars, cook, drive a stick... but you can only lead them.. not strongarm.
What will we do then? Anything we want...duh. I didn't know being married was a requirement to having a purpose to life after the kids get kicked out. Frankly, it would be quite liberating.
I'm not going to be offended if they choose their own father over me to give them away in marriage; I would probably be all for it.. that way I don't have to rent an ill-fitting tux.
next objection?
:rofl4: Geez, when I read Winks post my thoughts immediately sprang to Rob lamenting the tuxedo.
They'll pick whomever they like :shrug: but I think it would mean more to James.
As far as piercings go, I don't mind...but spacers come when they ain't in my house! Anything that requires surgery to repair once you are over your little phase is out of the question.
The girls already want tattoos but I have sat them down and explained that their bodies are still growing and it would mess up the tattoo. I told them that if they still want one when it is legal and they have their own job to pay for their own adornment I will be fine with it.
They love the temporary tattoos that are everywhere these days, so maybe this'll be enough for the remaining 14 years.
Marlowe is already asking about coloring her hair, though. I don't really know what to think about this. I started using Sun-in (a spray on hair bleacher) at 11 and I colored my hair for the first time for my freshman homecoming. Not that I am endorsing it but I view it as innocuous. Hair is hair and can either be colored over, bleached out, or cut off.
Slim Pickens
2/25/06, 12:45pm
*is developing a migraine*
:laugh5: then maybe I shouldn't tell you about what Marlowe said about you last night.
Slim Pickens
2/25/06, 12:51pm
One thing that I am grateful about the relationship that the 4 of us (me, T, Rob, and Roz) have is our willingness to discuss these things and come to decisions TOGETHER. Like T said about the spacers, it's not Daddy they have to worry about with the tattoos and piercings, its Ra-Ra, Su-Sue, and Le-Lee...and Daddy will deal with that as necessary. It might not be my thing, but like T said, its their bodies-when they are older and have their own jobs to support their idiosyncracies. It's like a bumper sticker that my boss's daughter has on her car: "You all laugh at me because I'm different-I laugh at all of you because you are all the same"
Slim Pickens
2/25/06, 01:40pm
I'm almost scared to ask, but what did she say? :eek13:
paul_valaru
2/25/06, 01:44pm
But you really should get wedded.
The perfect couple ya are!
And Paul and Les too!
ok
I'm almost scared to ask, but what did she say? :eek13:
While in the bath:
Marlowe "My daddy is skinny and fat"
Me "Why is your daddy skinny and fat?"
Marlowe "Because he's getting so old"
After a few minutes of valiantly trying to keep a straight face, I manage to work out that she meant that your arms and legs were skinny but your belly was not. AH, Children!
Slim Pickens
2/25/06, 01:53pm
*Hereby announces the death of Santa Claus*
Slim Pickens
2/25/06, 01:54pm
And you laughed your ass off, didn't you!
And you laughed your ass off, didn't you!
Actually, no...I managed to compose myself....but if it makes you feel better I am just fat. But it is because I had babies.
She's cruel but at least she takes into account the reasons for peoples flaws, eh? You're old and I had kids.
It may be their body but until they are paying for it, I have the title.
drive a stick...
Wouldn't you need access to a vehicle with a stick to teach them how to drive one? Or were you hoping I'd show up at the 2017 OTC BBQ with the same car I have now, which has a stick? :p
*wonders if sticks really will be around in 2017.
unclehobart
2/25/06, 03:55pm
That may be true. Manual transmissions may be extinct outside of performance vehicles. I may have to put that on on the back burner.
:rofl4: skinny AND fat :rofl4:
I've never met the kid and I've never seen Slim but I find that terribly amusing!
That may be true. Manual transmissions may be extinct outside of performance vehicles. I may have to put that on on the back burner.
You should teach them how to drive a three-on-the-tree. :D
unclehobart
2/25/06, 08:49pm
No problemo... so long as someone teaches me first. :)
Professur
2/27/06, 08:34am
Not a problem.
It may be their body but until they are paying for it, I have the title.
:thumbup:
Slim Pickens
2/27/06, 01:24pm
Rob- I can drive a "3-on the tree"-on of my buddies in high school, who frequently had too much to drink, showed me how on his '69 Ford truck
I got lucky; the '62 Fairlane I learned to drive in has a two-speed Fordomatic.
unclehobart
2/27/06, 02:12pm
Rob- I can drive a "3-on the tree"-on of my buddies in high school, who frequently had too much to drink, showed me how on his '69 Ford truckA 40 year old vehicle being the key element here. I don't think a three on the tree exists on anything past 1975.
Heck, I learned to drive on one.
grumble, grumble, grumble just call me Methusalah...
Last time I did you threatened me....
My first vehicle was a 3-speed '64 Ford Pick em up. Learned on a floor stick, the switch was easy. I'm up to 18 gears these days.
Professur
2/27/06, 02:59pm
A 40 year old vehicle being the key element here. I don't think a three on the tree exists on anything past 1975. Just (19) a matter of linkage. You can buy an aftermarket on-the-tree steering column and you just have to build the linkage to connect to any tranny you want.
Just (19) a matter of linkage.
OK, I give. What's with the (#)?
Professur
2/27/06, 03:15pm
It's the number of times I bugger up spelling just.
Is there a particular milestone you're trying to reach, and if so, what will you do when you reach that milestone? Are you putting a dollar in the "jsut" jar for every time you do that?
unclehobart
2/27/06, 04:30pm
the jsut jar ... aka new tranny fund.
So I take it that you aren't a fan of Big Audio Dynamite?
Professur
2/27/06, 04:42pm
Is there a particular milestone you're trying to reach, and if so, what will you do when you reach that milestone? Are you putting a dollar in the "jsut" jar for every time you do that?
Once the engine rebuilt is paid off, I might just (got away with it that time) do that. But the major goal is to simply break myself of the habit.
So I take it that you aren't a fan of Big Audio Dynamite?
Only song of theirs I know is "The Globe."
unclehobart
2/27/06, 04:46pm
Thats one more than I... I know of them not.
I know I know the band but i can't think of a song...off to google Globe lyrics.
skinny fat jsut transmissions piercing the globe. how many conversations we got going here?
Professur
2/27/06, 08:10pm
How's about we add Weight loss motivation (http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/162801/)?
oh man...that was just plain nasty....
mondomondo
2/28/06, 10:14am
So I take it that you aren't a fan of Big Audio Dynamite?
"Sit tight and listen keenly, while I play for you another brand new musical biscuit!"
(Bonus points if you can guess which film that sample [from "C'mon Every Beatbox"] comes from.)
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